August
Monday 8 March 2010 photo 1/2
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The girl is open her window and letting the wind penetrate to her warm room. She is freezing when the cold air strikes against her. Outside it is cool and it has just started obscure. Night is soon here. She extends her hand out the window to feel the cold night air against the skin. When she stretched forth her hand she feel something moistened or maybe something cool, she cannot quite put her finger on what it feels like, but it feels like there is something in her hand. She is looking at her hand and see that there is a small butterfly, which has set itself to correct on her knuckles. The butterfly is not even moving when the girl takes her hand in her room again. The girl thinks that she is loved by someone. She feels happy for a short period of time but will then understand that it is not so great thing to be well-liked by a butterfly. The butterfly may not even like her. It might just not found any better place to settle on so it sat on the first best location, in her hand. The girl thinks of why she is not well-liked by anyone. Because that is how she feels. No one likes her. She feels not well-liked by anyone.
She feels like the girl in the background that perhaps reaches sometimes if someone talks to her. Perhaps someone likes her? No, she is too shy. Her mother always said that if she should be something in life, she must take a little more space. The girl knows that she will not be anything because she does not dare to talk to other than her friends. Her friends, yes, she has four friends known as her friends. Then there are others who she is talking to, but they don’t know her well enough that she should have the courage to talk to them often. Every time she's talking with someone she feels that the person wishes that she could only stop talking, that they don’t want to hear from her. Therefore, she started to pull back a little.
There is a guy who she really liked before. She dared to talk with him, but generally, only on her computer and messages. The reason why she dared to talk with him was that he showed interest. He seemed to not like she would go or stop talking with him. One evening, it was decided that she and her friend would meet the guy and his friend down at the ice hockey stadium. The girl was to shy and dared not go down there, but after very tiresome pace from her friend, she came down. When she got there and saw the guy her legs stopped, they did not take her forward. Her friend said to her not to be so shy, she hesitated a little while but then she went to the guy. The girl did not know what she would say she just stood there, and talked only when the guy asked her something. Eventually took her shyness over, she did not dare to stay there. She went to her house at a rapid pace.
When she was at home she took her mobile to send a message. She would send it to the guy. She took a quick decision about what she would write. But she didn’t understand why she wrote that. It was something like this:
"I don’t think it will work between us. Sorry."
The girl undone just after she had pushed the ' Send ' button. That text would change her life. The mobile made a sound, she dared not check what he wrote but she was too curious. She took her mobile and opened the message. It stood:
"Okay I understand"
The girl felt awful and she was disappointed on herself. Why did she send it? There was nothing to do now. All she could do was to try to tell him that she didn’t meant it, she had in fact not meant what she wrote. It was just her fear and shyness who had taken over a little.
A few weeks later:
The girl took her jacket and said "Goodbye" to her mother who had not gone to the job yet. She was on her way to school.
When she arrived at school, she was sitting among all the other. She just happened to get hold of one of her friends ' mobile. She was a little curious and skimmed through her friends messes.
She founded messages from him. It was really difficult to check on them, but she knew that she had to. They had sent hearts to each other. It did the girl very sorry to see what they had written. She gently laid back the mobile on the table as if she had not seen anything. She thought about her own message. Why had she written that she didn’t like him? Why had she destroyed her life just because she was a coward?
She had no response to it.
One week later, she heard that he and her friend were together. The girl was very sad. She knew that all was her own fault. If she had not sent that messages, her life would be perfect. Now her life was far from perfect. Every time the girl met the guy she avoided him. She couldn’t see him, especially not when her friend was in his vicinity. But what could she do? Nothing, her friend really liked him too.
Just because she was sick in the head, she would not destroy for her friend. She simply had to live with it.
But what does she see in him? He is not the guy ho looks so good, he is only very kind.
She doesn’t know why. She just likes him.
The girl is looking at the butterfly. She is studying the only one who currently cares about her. She feels a little happy to not be alone in the dark room. The girl takes a step towards the window. She holds her hand out again. The butterfly is open its wings and fly away through the cold night air.
Now the girl is alone again.
When she sees the butterfly fly away she is sure of one thing. She needs to get over him.
She needs to be free, just like the butterfly.
She feels like the girl in the background that perhaps reaches sometimes if someone talks to her. Perhaps someone likes her? No, she is too shy. Her mother always said that if she should be something in life, she must take a little more space. The girl knows that she will not be anything because she does not dare to talk to other than her friends. Her friends, yes, she has four friends known as her friends. Then there are others who she is talking to, but they don’t know her well enough that she should have the courage to talk to them often. Every time she's talking with someone she feels that the person wishes that she could only stop talking, that they don’t want to hear from her. Therefore, she started to pull back a little.
There is a guy who she really liked before. She dared to talk with him, but generally, only on her computer and messages. The reason why she dared to talk with him was that he showed interest. He seemed to not like she would go or stop talking with him. One evening, it was decided that she and her friend would meet the guy and his friend down at the ice hockey stadium. The girl was to shy and dared not go down there, but after very tiresome pace from her friend, she came down. When she got there and saw the guy her legs stopped, they did not take her forward. Her friend said to her not to be so shy, she hesitated a little while but then she went to the guy. The girl did not know what she would say she just stood there, and talked only when the guy asked her something. Eventually took her shyness over, she did not dare to stay there. She went to her house at a rapid pace.
When she was at home she took her mobile to send a message. She would send it to the guy. She took a quick decision about what she would write. But she didn’t understand why she wrote that. It was something like this:
"I don’t think it will work between us. Sorry."
The girl undone just after she had pushed the ' Send ' button. That text would change her life. The mobile made a sound, she dared not check what he wrote but she was too curious. She took her mobile and opened the message. It stood:
"Okay I understand"
The girl felt awful and she was disappointed on herself. Why did she send it? There was nothing to do now. All she could do was to try to tell him that she didn’t meant it, she had in fact not meant what she wrote. It was just her fear and shyness who had taken over a little.
A few weeks later:
The girl took her jacket and said "Goodbye" to her mother who had not gone to the job yet. She was on her way to school.
When she arrived at school, she was sitting among all the other. She just happened to get hold of one of her friends ' mobile. She was a little curious and skimmed through her friends messes.
She founded messages from him. It was really difficult to check on them, but she knew that she had to. They had sent hearts to each other. It did the girl very sorry to see what they had written. She gently laid back the mobile on the table as if she had not seen anything. She thought about her own message. Why had she written that she didn’t like him? Why had she destroyed her life just because she was a coward?
She had no response to it.
One week later, she heard that he and her friend were together. The girl was very sad. She knew that all was her own fault. If she had not sent that messages, her life would be perfect. Now her life was far from perfect. Every time the girl met the guy she avoided him. She couldn’t see him, especially not when her friend was in his vicinity. But what could she do? Nothing, her friend really liked him too.
Just because she was sick in the head, she would not destroy for her friend. She simply had to live with it.
But what does she see in him? He is not the guy ho looks so good, he is only very kind.
She doesn’t know why. She just likes him.
The girl is looking at the butterfly. She is studying the only one who currently cares about her. She feels a little happy to not be alone in the dark room. The girl takes a step towards the window. She holds her hand out again. The butterfly is open its wings and fly away through the cold night air.
Now the girl is alone again.
When she sees the butterfly fly away she is sure of one thing. She needs to get over him.
She needs to be free, just like the butterfly.
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