This emptiness is mind-shattering.
Voices echo through these halls, but they are my own.
They tell me I'm a waste. They say I deserve pain.
I'm a burden and I should go away.
But I kow I'm not a burden. I have no impact.
I live my life in the shadows, barely living at all.

I have nothing, but I want nothing.
It's getting harder not to cut again.
Who thought I would ever get this far.
Even thinking about getting help.
But why would I.
Why would I deserve help.

Again the spiral takes a hold and I feel the emptiness and decay grow deeper day by day.
Another year in silence.
Another night in vain.
Screaming but barely breathing.
Knife to the wrists but holding on to the wait.
Raw panic.
Emptiness.
More decay.
And again spiraling.
This is what I do best.
This is where I belong.
Or is it the voices telling me.

There's something wrong deep inside.
In the core being.
This life was never for me.
I've gotten so far, but some things will never change.
I don't belong.

Maybe it's time to go down with the ship.

Annons

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June 2016