It starts with a smile.. I was born to life with a happy smile A totaly foolish, happy girl But then I grew older and startet to face reality And knowledge took my smile away A thousand days passed on without a single laugh comming out of my moth A child stuck in depression But then after the childhood just before the end of it all I was changed in a bargain I was received a smile by death But I didn't know the consequences I was received a smile in exchange for the rest of my life in hell Good deal I thought I had allready lived hell on life so it couldn't be so bad But I was totaly wrong The depressed life that I had left behind took a turn and ended up even worser A deamon occupied my red heart and turned it black The deamon made me bleed worse then ever Before I was never happy and that was all Now was I finally happy Only in the wrong way I was happy for things that should turn everyone down I started to do what everyone fear I was addicted to badness I was living a life no one should have to I was hated, but for once I didn't care For once I was my self, for once I was strong But after a milion wrong turns i the time of a year everything went upsidedown My deamon flew I thougt that that was good, but as allways I was wrong My soul who had been hiding inside of me came out as an devil, tearing me apart I started to bleed, a lot outside and inside I started to die inside I didn't know what to do, 'cause I had allways had someone telling me what to live for Bad and good things, but things at least But now I had to live on my own And with my devil to soul around me I was trapped in a nightmare Nothing made any scense anymoore Everything was just gone So I gave up I ran, the fastest I could I ran, and ran, and ran Until I got to that cliff Where I jumped And falled down in the deep black water I hoped that that was the end of it all Still wrong I saw my soul burning up, untill it was only ash I saw my dreams broke, untill they was only thousands of tiny pieces I saw the rest of my destroyed life disappearing in the dark And then I was alone I falled For days and weeks and month It felt like that at least But then I hit the end all the darkness disappeared and in front of me stood someone I couldn't really see who Nothing was cleared But then I saw who stood in front of me.. It was Me, Me, just after I had left my childhood, and right before I sold my soul to death Me, the only time I actually was satisfied with my self I was an angel, or at least the rest of my dead body was Were was I ? I didn't said it out laoud, but the younger me read my mind and answerd: - Nowere, everywere. Call it what you want, it aren't gonna make any sence anyway. Then she looked me in my eyes and smiled. For the first time I saw my self smiling, I had tried a little bit for me self in front of my bathroomsmirror, but not been able Then she said: - Wake up I saw my self running from that cliff again and again But then the movie inside my head stoped I had woked up In a room somewere I could only see white Suddenly I understood were I was, in a institute I had survied the jump Fuck But then I fell asleep again And for this time, I never woke up..

Annons

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November 2012