August
Tuesday 18 September 2018 photo 3/7
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The Vampire Academy
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The teenagers Rose Hathaway and Vasilisa "Lissa" Dragomir are best friend and escapee from the St. Vladimir's Academy for more than one year. When the guardian Dimitri Belikov from the St Vladimir's Academy and his team find the girls, they bring them back to the academy. Rose is a Dhampir, a good half human-half vampire breed that can eat regular food and are trained to protect the Moroi from the evil immortal vampires Strigoi. Lissa is a Princess of the Moroi, a good mortal breed of vampires that feed of blood from donors and is capable to control one of the four elements. When they return, the Headmistress Kirova intends to punish Rose, but the old Moroi Victor Dashkov, who was a friend of Lissa's family, dissuades Kirova from her intent. Lissa dates her outcast schoolmate Christian Ozera but unexpectedly she is threatened by someone that wishes to harm her. Victor's daughter Natalie joins Rose and Lissa to help them to seek out who might be the enemy.
Rose Hathaway is a dhampir, half-vampire and half-human, who is training to be a guardian at St Vladimir's Academy along with many others like her. There are good and bad vampires in their world: Moroi, who co-exist peacefully among the humans and only take blood from donors, and also possess the ability to control one of the four elements - water, earth, fire or air; and Strigoi, blood-sucking, evil vampires who drink to kill. Rose and other dhampir guardians are trained to protect Moroi and kill Strigoi throughout their education. Along with her best friend, Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, a Moroi and the last of her line, with whom she has a nigh unbreakable bond, Rose must run away from St Vladimir's, in order to protect Lissa from those who wish to harm the princess and use her for their own means.
I suppose the premise for VAMPIRE ACADEMY, the latest vampire-themed young adult film adapted from a book, is TWILIGHT meets HARRY POTTER. That's certainly the theme here as the plot involves age-old aristocratic vampires, both good and bad, and the students of a vampire academy who swot up on vampire lore.
What it amasses to isn't very much at all. This is a weak emulation of a typical American high school movie complete with grating British accents and some truly horrid performances from the young cast members. Indeed, some of the actors in this I found completely excruciating, particularly the leads. Their dialogue sounds hollow and feels false, which is little surprise considering how it aches to be oh-so-hip and down with the kids.
As is usual for this genre, a couple of old-timers are wheeled out like forgotten waxworks; Joely Richardson and Gabriel Byrne are the ones foolish enough to sign up in this case. Olga Kurylenko is here too, although she has so little screen time that I wonder why she bothered showing up on the day. The whole film is a joke from start to finish, with rubbish direction and some of the fakest fight scenes I can remember watching. The only wonder comes from wondering why they bothered shooting it in the first place.
I have never read the books, I am just throwing that out there because some of my complaints to lean towards poor explanation of things. However, regardless of whether I have read the books or not - I should be able to understand this movie at least (and when I can follow something like Cloud Atlas, I think it should have been time to go back to the writing room if I couldn't understand some of the things that are so basic for the rules of storytelling).
The plot is that Rose and Princess Lissa are on the run from going back to a boarding school for vampires (Why? Well, I told you things were poorly explained). They then get found by a teacher of self defense named Dimitri (the only character in the movie that isn't a whiny dumb-ass) and they go back. Lissa then gets death threats and over time they become more serious... But enough about that, These 2 girls have a popularity ladder to climb and sort out their love lives!
To explain further their complete lack of explanation, We are told that there are three different kinds of Vampires - Strigoi, Dhampir and Moroi. Apparently Dhampir's are bodyguards to the Moroi, and when this gets explained they don't tell you a single reason why and then go onto say that Moroi can use magic... Then if a Moroi is in danger what's stopping them from setting them on fire, actually - a moroi does this, not for self-defense but it kind of gets me questioning why they even need bodyguards. And There's also a point around the end when Dimitri (Who's a Dhampir) uses magic to turn his hands into pretty much flamethrowers... Does that mean Dhampir's can use magic too? And for that matter why does he only use this once. Not even to disorient a Strigoi - Who for some reason can turn any random person regardless of whether they're a vampire, shunned by the other 2 types because... evil (which considering the main antagonists have nothing to do with Strigoi... YEAH, they're hypocrites) and have enhanced strength and somehow are the only Vampires who are immortal. I really want to know why being one is bad and how the Strigoi are the only ones that are immortal...I'm waiting.
Another thing, this movie seems to be under a delusion that the story is about Rose and not Lissa. I mean she's the focal point of the entire plot and the single most important character in the story. Even getting Dimitri would have been a better choice because at the end of the day, he does everything - Not Rose, every single time something bad happens they usually run to him asking for his help, now usually this would work but is it that hard to write down ways in which Dimitri doesn't do everything? Either that or Lissa doesn't save herself. If anyone wants a clearer perspective of what this is like, Imagine all 7 Seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer as told from the point of view of Xander, Dawn or Buffy's mother.
On the subject of characters, I'll explain why I think they're whiny dumb-asses. When Lissa is getting death threats non-stop, dead pets and hanging carcasses above her front door the one question I have to ask is - Why is the only god-dam things they care about "Popularity" and "boys". I mean their life is in danger - Do these people seriously have so sense of urgency? They are getting DEATH THREATS and dead pets among a lot of other things, and the one thing they're thinking about is "How oh how will we get these people to like me!"... How can I (or anyone for that matter) sympathize with that? And another thing is that when it all gets explained who's doing this and why... It makes no sense.
Okay, now onto what I like about this movie. Even though they have nothing and I mean NOTHING to work with the acting isn't that bad, the cinematography is decently done and the special effects are pretty good.
So all in all, I don't think I have seen a movie with a decent budget have a worse story told more poorly then this one. If anyone gives me some BS excuse about how it was intended for a female audience, particularly the teenage female audience then I don't think that's ANY excuse for the complaints I raised. I mean I get the teenage girl leading protagonist but have her do something, give them a sense of urgency about blood messages on the wall, dead pets and bleeding carcasses above the front door among others and not just throw that away for them trying to be popular (and even if you want to throw that in somewhere, just do the bare minimum). Do that as well as explain your mythology better and this would actually be a decent movie.
One idea, mixed with lame jokes, and stretched beyond coherence. Vampire Academy doesn't need a review. It needs a stake in the heart.
Yes, the movie is based on the first book in a series of six teen/young adult Vampire Academy books written by Richelle Mead. The books include: (1) Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters (2007), (2) Vampire Academy: Frostbite (2008), (3) Vampire Academy: Shadow Kiss (2008), (4) Vampire Academy: Blood Promise (2009), (5) Vampire Academy: Spirit Bound (2010), and (6) Vampire Academy: Last Sacrifice (2010). a5c7b9f00b
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