Pic not related / Can't sleep, too many thoughts, don't know what to do, only felt like writting to relax. I hate this..confusion, or maybe it's just disorientation about what to do and where to start, i have to get money, can't work at any place with customers because i have social anxiety, having a bad time finding work or studies, like i tell myself that i am an idiot, downgrading myself because i don't feel confident enough and i can't stop it. I wish i had a reason, but i don't... i talk to myself everyday try to encourage myself, so that the next day i know what to do but in the end, it's back to the chair browsing through billions of codes and pictures only to satisfy a need i don't want, to feel something and what a pleasure that is, right? Sorry for ranting, i just feel lonely and empty and so lost right now. Im far from having worse than many others, but when you can't set your mind straight, how different are we in that sense? I wish for so many things, yet i can't do magic and if i can't open these chains, who can? Fuck just babbling again, money sucks, fucking disgraceful shit. Goodnight.

Annons

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August 2017