december
torsdag 12 november 2009 bild 1/1
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THE LOVE STORY
So here we are again.. It begun with the day when i helped you start taking control, when i helped you to take care of yourself. Which you seem to forget,and ignore. I know now afterwards, that i should have just let you lie there while everyone was kicking all over you. I regret my decision.
But as well as i helped you, you helped me. You created a vision for me, to believe in. You filled that spot, when you opened up your eyes for me. I had reached out my entire life for a meaning, a momentary taste of hope was what i long for. Everyday i couldn't wait to get you alone, to walk by your side, to hold you hand.. God it was the moment of retaliation for all the times I have been turned down, it was the moment of my life. I will never be able to breath without you.
You lit the fires in me that i never thought i had, You my life's sundown. It felt like my heart would always beat your name. I live my life with love for you. I can explain how much i need you, because you may be the reason why I am still alive, Please hold me close and keep me on my toes :(
But as the timed passed by, you started taking me for granted.
And for everyday i looked in to your eyes, i could see that your colors were changing. I wish that i could change with you..and when you said forever, did you mean that to be true or was it just another tale from you?
It was a simple art of making you mine, but harder to keep you. Because you became the darkness in a lightened world. And now I am just lying here, in the bed you liked to do it in, Pieces of long black hair are all over, and everything is still in my mind. I never knew that hell could get so cold, i always thought * What is hell if your already dead?*. And so i ask myself... Is this when love runs out of patience?
With big tears and a lying mouth, she only wants you to say the words * I am sorry my love, can we please turn around? * You gave me something to believe in, something i could walk a million miles to get to. But i knew that one day you would say * I do not love you anymore*.
Now i can only hold my breath a little while, until reality is sinking in, when I am all alone again. Your my curse baby. This love moments just faded out, they died...and everything went back to normal. Now your just pushing me away, and you fucking like it your negligent bitch. Now your just saying good bye to many times, and it's best for us to just back off, before I will SNAP.
The bed we fucked in smells the same, tho now the stench is fading.
All those things i loved about you, i now despise. Your just TWISTING THE DAGGER IN MY BACK every fucking time your near me. Do you think you'll make it without me? What you do and what you say are never related, liar.
Now i just LOVE myself for hating you, and i can't remember what meant so much to me.. Because you are fucking useless. I really do hope that you are watching as i fall down, because you are the reason why I am hitting the ground. And baby, i do see through your lies..I always does, but still your trying to SHIT me with new fucking lies. You would be in a great fucking shape if you ran like your mouth, bitch.
And i was so dumb to thought i land in the skies when i aimed at you, But time showed, that i would take a bullet for you, but you would put a bullet in me. And that i would have gave it all to you, but you would just have taken it all from me.
Now I am just a wretched man.. Who will rescue me now, from this body of death? In the excavation of my human heart, i found something while being with you.. Something that i never knew existed. *Love*.
But i guess this is how it is.. Everyone leaves in the end, it does not matter how hard you hold on, or how much you drain you heart for. It's just the way it is. And now, as I am a victim, i can't break away from these chains that belongs to you, and contains my heart.
If i just could turn back time, i would never know you.. And you would never knew me. I will always wait here for you, and i know that you will never see...that, but anyway.. I hope you remember when you used to laugh here with me, And i hope you know that every tear you cry, is a memory from when you watched me die.
It seems like it's to much to ask not to be alone. Tho the more I am thinking of it.. It's getting even more awkward, especially when i went to bed with you, because i knew i would just wake up alone and unwanted, in your silence!
Remember.. That three small words could make this all okay..
*I love you*
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